A weary week

Well, this week has been a bit of a nightmare.
I have no idea what's up with Sylvie but she's driving me mad. I can feel my frontal lobe throbbing for most of the day!!!!!!!!!!!
She's all over the place - she's making really annoying noises, won't do anything she's asked, and is generally just unpleasant to be around. She's not like my Sylvie at all. I feel as though she's been replaced by some hormone driven teenager - even though she's only three and a half!

I've been reading Jan Hunt's The Natural Child along side Naomi Aldort - they both compliment each other perfectly. I can see how I'd like to react to Sylvie's bizarre behaviour and I'm trying to figure out where it's coming from, (though I'm not fully opening my eyes to where it's coming from because I'm worried that I don't know how to change our family dynamic - I only have one pair of hands after all... very hard), so that I can address the cause instead of losing my rag. I've been horrible all week which fuels this monster of frustration and annoyance that keeps growing and growing between us. I've been shouty, angry and really really tired. I'd managed to keep away from sugar and general crap food until yesterday when I thought, 'what the hell - where's the pleasure in life? Give me chocolate' but today I feel even MORE tired and tetchy!

I think a big part of the problem with Sylvie's behaviour at the moment is sleep... she doesn't have enough of it in her life. Bed time's not too good - if she's tired she's on the ceiling and it's so hard to help her down. She becomes more and more 'hyper', (awful word but helps to describe what's happening) and loses control of her faculties! I recognise this and do my best to have her in her bedroom before it happens but sometimes, events take over and bedtime is bloody awful. Nap times don't exist. With three kids under four all who need so much all of the time, I can't figure out how to make 'nap time' work - going out in the car doesn't even work for Sylvs. I can see how tired she is - red in the face and puffy eyed, but she just won't sleep.

I know shouting does not make anything better. In the case of Sylvie it makes things much worse. I felt like I just wanted to crawl into a hole on Tuesday and shouted far too much. As a result, when we went to home ed group on Wednesday Sylvie was shouting and roaring at all of the other children - achhhk... not good eh. Poor little thing.

So, all in all, I'm frustrated so much with Sylvie but don't have any outlet from her AT ALL so I can get my head 'round how to put things into perspective. This week has been a downward spiral of both attitude and behaviour and I feel like s@@@ite about the way I've been handling things. I've resorted back to how I was parented which is not what I want to do.
I think today and the coming week needs to be about gentle words and voices and lots of cuddles, but I can't let her hit and hurt her sister, or shout in Annabelle's face as loud as her lungs will allow because it's just not on. Hopefully things will settle down.

Other than battling, we've been doing lots of growing!!!

Purple broccoli
lettuce
radish
potato
rocket
marigolds
raspberries
blackcurrants
apples
pears
nasturtiums
and hopefully some of next door's rhubarb!!!

All edible and in every available spot in the garden.