All of a huh

I feel a bit challenged by life at the minute.
I've made a change that's left me feeling really odd - I've stopped taking my Fluoxatine which has been my buddy for the past year. I figure that I should confront my feelings of anger and hurt and the sadness I feel for my mother instead of trying to cover it up with drugs. There just hasn't been any time - no time to think and, as she was cremated instead of buried and she has not headstone, no 'where' to think either. It's been very hard but I recon that's not going to change for a long time so perhaps going for a quick fix isn't going to work in the long run.
Mind you, saying this shows how far I've come since this time last year when I was just desperate to feel something other than sad. Now I feel OK with intermittent bouts of deep sadness!
I've had lots of physical symptoms which have left me feeling just 'wrong'.... that's all I can describe it as. It's as though the electrics in my body have been wired up funny for the past few days but that's gone now. I felt very upside down and inside out on Thursday and Friday, cried a lot and flew into aggressive rages with Mark but since Friday things have been OK. Maybe it was the right decision, maybe it was the wrong decision, we'll see eh.
One thing I noticed about the tablets is they took away my sense of urgency and my need to get things done. For example, I stopped caring about the dust on the skirting boards and about the drawings on the wall. Since not taking the tablets this has changed. On Friday afternoon I grabbed a paint brush and some left over paint and repainted the living room the dining room and the hall. It didn't really take that long and I've only painted 'around' the furniture but it's so much better than it was. It actually feels clean. Now, if only we had a carpet the house might be respectable!

I walked into the living room on Friday night and there was a mouse sitting in front of the sofa. Urgh. I wasn't frightened of it just a bit miffed to be honest. As a result of this brief mousey encounter we called at the local animal sanctuary yesterday and got ourselves a cat. He's a scraggy, scrawny black thing but oh, he's just lovely. I'm quite smitten. He's not here yet - they have to do various things before we can collect him but we're all really excited.

And then there's Facebook and the black hand of doom that holds high over our heads... urgh I rally don't like it but it's so useful for some things. Once again I'm thinking of leaving FB... it's taking up too much time and it's mostly wasted time. Decisions decisions.