Roller Disco a Go Go

How foolish was I to think that the girls wouldn't like the roller disco. How foolish!!! Sylvie and Annabelle had a FANTASTIC time... I think that Bea was a little overwhelmed so maybe I was half right.

It wasn't what I thought it would be. The room was huge and there were disco lights flashing and everyone was just having a jolly time. Sylvie went in with her bike and rode round and round for literally two hours. She didn't stop once and was loathed to leave. Anna mounted the scooter and took herself 'round and 'round a few times and loved it. Bea, however, was wearing 'imaginary roller skates' - very funny and very bizarre at the same time. My quirky Bea.

We left the disco and went off to Witworth Park. We were accosted on the way in by a strange little s/he in horrible checky trousers saying that we weren't allowed to eat our picnic in the grounds. Claire's mum had received a flyer saying it was a great place for picnics so, we ate our picnic in the grounds. ~The children were almost eaten by the Deer, but luckily, only 'almost'.

We left there and went onto Coxhoe Park which was fab. By this time Bea was ready to drop so we only stayed for an hour then came home. Hurah, Mark was already home when we landed.

All in all, a bally good day what what!

Oh, and more random pics.

Happy Days

Yesterday, Sylvie and Bea painting and modelling with home made salt dough while Annabelle has a sleep.

Today, my bed and the rest of the house is full of crumbly bits of salt dough as it's turned into Bea's favourite thing in the world and she's got it in her hand constantly. As bits dry out they drop off... hum, who's idea why that then??

We've got lovely plans for this afternoon; we're meeting friends at Whitworth Park, (it's like a country park type place that has deers and nice grass for sitting on for picnics while the children run!) to meet our buddies. A home ed outting - excellent! The other guys are going to a 'wheelie disco' first of all but to be honest, I'm not up for that. I can imagine Bea going the wrong way, Sylvie falling off her scooter and Annabelle trying to ride on the back of various wheeled objects, all ending in crying and stress. Instead, we're going to play in the garden then get ready to go to Whitworth Park.

I really have to make a concerted effort to stop eating junk. I've got an appointment on the 23rd September with the bariatric team at Sunderland Hospital and I'd like to have lost at least SOME weight by then - gotta show a bit willing, eh. I hope, really, really hope that I have the op, (gastric bypass) this year so that I'm thin/ner by next summer. It's taken a lot to get to this point. It's certainly not the easy option and to be honest, sometimes I wonder what the heck I'm doing even thinking about having some of my insides removed, however, I've been overweight for 32 of 35 years so it's probably the best thing to do.

Off to have a shower then to play footie with my girlies in the garden.

Hens

Did I tell you that we 'had' hens... i.e used to have them?
They'd stayed for a while but Bea loved them too much so they had to go and live somewhere else.
Three girls, Arial, Evangeline and Nanny McPhee... I miss them, I miss their eggs and I really miss looking after them. Perhaps something for the future? We still have the hen house so all is not lost!

I've added more photos from the past year, too, as well as one of Evangeline sitting on our kitchen windowsill. I think Sylvie encouraged Bea to let the chickens out and entice them into the house which Bea just got obsessed with! There were feathers everywhere after the 'kitchen bench' incident!!! So funny. Mark came into my sewing room and said, 'the chickens sound like they're really close by'... sure enough, they were!!!

Bed time or scream time?

Well, it's 7.15pm and Bea is asleep in bed. This is no less than a minor miracle. The light nights have had my girls up 'til past 10 pm and my plans to lull them into bed before then have been thrown in my face - they've been having none of it! Tonight, however, I started 'bed time' a bit earlier and it seems to have done the trick for missy Bea.
Sylvie, however, isn't chuffed at all. She's in her bedroom looking through books, trying on clothes and, er, YAWNING really loudly - SYLVS, JUST GO TO SLEEP.

We're a co-sleeping household. I sleep with Bea and Annabelle and Mark sleeps with Sylvie. Sylvie has very recently started going to sleep by herself, (Mark goes in later). Bea's no where near ready for this and little Anna's still a weeney baby, (19mths) so she'll not be ready for a long time. Some times I love co-sleeping, some times I loathe it... it's not the 'sleep' part - not that I manage much of that squashed between two little hot bods, it's the 'going to sleep' part. I get a bit miffed when Bea tries to scratch me, kick me and generally abuse me even though I'm lying with her cause she's blatantly knackered and needs sleep! Queer these little people, aren't they. Crikey, if someone was to lay beside me and stroke my hair OFFERING sleep I'd grab it in a shot!!! One day, one day they'll know sleep deprivation and they'll just wish for five minutes of peace..................

I've felt a bit sad today too. There seem to be loads of little babies with their grandparents. Obviously this is lovely, but I mean 'little' babies. I'm sad that they aren't snuggling with their mummies, snoozing and feeding and drifting in and out of a milky stupper. Instead they're in pushchairs, miles away from any form of skin to skin, yes, probably very loved and very happy, but still making me sigh a bit. I suppose this thing called 'work' gets in the way for so many women. I'm glad we made the decissions we did when we could to buy a small house and to live on one wage. It's harder now than it was though - Mark works for local government so he's not going to be given an inflationary pay rise. Food costs a fortune and there are three growing girls to be clothed. THANKYOU MOTHER for gifting me with the ability to sew!!!! It certainly helps to fill the gap. Not enough to buy a new carpet, but still!

We went to the Botanic Gardens in Durham today to meet our Australian friend, Emma, her daughter, Ali and their friend Susuma. What a gorgeous morning, but oh so hot! I was a total sweaty mess by the time we came home. It was a 'teddy bears picnic' today so it was busy and I found it really hard to keep an eye on the girls. I think I need to have a third eye implanted into the middle of my head!!!

I'm going to upload some random photos from the past year. I love looking at people's blog photos so if you're reading, I hope you enjoy these.

As for home ed - er, nothing has happened today in terms of formal learning but the girls have had a wealth of different experiences and they've enjoyed themselves. All happy, all yawny, (apart from Sylvie who is fully dressed and dancing around in the garden... oh well, maybe a lie in tomorrow?)

Back again!

I've been faffing on for ages thinking that I should start a new blog, but I've decided just to come back to this one. I've looked at the photos that are on here and I love 'em so why start a new somewhere else?

I think it's about a year since I last blogged. Crikey, so much has happened since then. Sylvie has grown up so much and is a fantastic big sister to Annabelle, who she adores. I didn't fill in any school application for her after Christmas so our home ed journey will probably take on a different shape in September which is when she would have been starting school.
Bea has turned into a little tinker and is giving us loads of grief at the moment. Just daft stuff like emptying flour everywhere, screeching a lot and generally being annoying. The other week she emptied 20 pints of milk onto the living room carpet - yes, 20, while I was upstairs settling Annabelle. I COULD NOT believe it, nor could I get the milk out of the carpet! As a result, we now have bare floor boards downstairs. Mark thinks it looks rustic, I think it just looks like we can't afford a carpet.

As for little Annabelle... well, what can I say. She's thriving. She's beautiful, funny, cheeky, milky, clever and just adorable. I love, love, love my little baby. Sylvie is also head over heels about her, Bea, on the other hand, really couldn't care less at the minute! I'm sure she'll change. Bea has no interest at all in other children yet. She's three and a half, her own girl and her own boss! Ack, she's quite quirky to say the least.

I've started my own business. Every weekend and most evenings I make slings! I do wrap conversions, mei tais, ring slings and other bits and pieces and I LOVE it. I have no idea how this will impact on our child tax credits and I'm not looking forward to finding out! It's fab to be able to do something creative for people who really appreciate it. I'm working with Sarah from Natural Connection to make a carrier to be raffled to help raise money for the desperate situation in East Africa at the mo. I hope we raise lots and lots!

As for home ed... I keep making plans then totally ignorning them. I've bought a couple of the Galore Park books which seem quite inspiring and I've also got into the Five in a Row books. Three of us mamas are going to be meeting weekly at each other's houses to work through projects in the five in a row books. Everyone from the local area has also agreed to meet fortnightly at the Botanic Gardens in Durham, somewhere we go very regularly. It's great - no dog pooh, nice walks, a bit of woodland and GOOD COFFEE!!! There's also an education centre/hut type thing which 'hopefully' we'll be able to have the keys to if it's not in use. How lucky are we??

So, all in all we're doing OK. Mum's ever present in her abscence and I keep thinking about what life would be like if she was here, which is no good for anyone! Plodding on though and loving the beauty of the here and now.

I'm reading, 'Buddism for Mothers' which is helping me to stay focussed on the present moment... gonna take a lot of practice, but enjoying the challenge.

Happy Summer Days

Back Again

It's forever since I've written anything on here.

Life's not been easy over the last few weeks. I feel like Sylvie has been a hurricane and we've all felt the strength of her rage!!!! She's been very unsettled, aggressive, 'naughty', downright wierd, wired and just too much for me to cope with to be honest.

I think that her behaviour is a reaction to the death of my mother with whom she spent a considerable amount of time. I thought, stupidly, that Sylvie wouldn't understand that her nanna had gone, or that she'd not be affected by the loss therefore her feelings around the time of mum's death weren't respected. As a result, we've had five months of one and off manic behaviour - some gorgeous times too, but mainly just hard work. I think in part this is, not suprisingly, due to my lack of emotional energy and the overwhelming sense of loss I still live alongside on a daily basis.

Bea is just her usual self although since Annabelle's started to sit up, Bea's started to shout more, and louder for attention... she also enjoys pushing Annabelle over but Sylvie did that when Bea started sitting up so we kind of expected it! Bea is just like a ball of energy. She seems to panic if she doesn't have what she wants/needs within seconds and she ends up totally frustrated. She's wound herself into such a tiz that her nose has bled twice this week. It's a bit worrying and I'm hoping things will change as she does seem quite stressed a lot of the time!!!!

So, life has been a bit of a rollercoaster since I last posted on here. When I realised I just couldn't cope with family life I decided to make changes that would help us all calm down
I stopped 'needing' to take the girls to play group/home ed group meetings and not to go to anyone else's house unless with my girls for a while as Sylvie clearly couldn't cope in those situations and didn't enjoy herself at all which meant I would be pushed to my limits and beyond causing a lot of unhappiness and stress.

So far, so good. Everyone seems to have calmed down a lot. I took the girls to 'Sticky Fingers', a local play group last Friday and they had a fab time. No one was pushed or hit, no shouting and screaming and throwing stuff around the room just happy children, playing with toys, interacting with each other. It was so good to see them as they 'used' to be instead of constantly being worried about what would happen next.
I've stopped putting the TV on during the day and implemented a bedtime 'routine' which I also think has made a huge difference. Things seem to be looking up.

We went camping last week and it was totally fantastic. On Tuesday Bea seemed a bit off colour - I thought it was because she'd not slept at all on Monday night, (she usually sleeps with me and Annabelle but due to the tiny camp bed, I was with Annabelle and she was in the other 'room' in the tent with Mark and Sylvie - she was not impressed and let us know that throughout the night), however, by 7pm Tuesday evening we had her in hospital with a temp of 40 degrees. Some Calpol, naked time, a fan and a cold cloth later and she was fine. Back to normal, demanding to paint and to drink milk... good old Bea.

We stayed three nights and Bea slept for none of them. On the last night she climbed up onto my camp bed and just slept by my feet - there was no room anywhere else. She still woke in the night screaming and shouting for me, but I least I was quick to comfort her.

Sylvie was amazing and had a fantastic time. She was climbing up rocks, walking up hills with Mark, having a great time with a group of 11/12 year olds who were camping as part of a school trip and just generally being a happy, outdoors loving little girl!!!! We've decided to take her to Durham Climbing Centre tomorrow morning to see how she feels about the climbing wall. I think she'll love it.

I've decided to start working on my NCT essays again - I need to finish the course so that I can start teaching and actually earn some cash! The first essay I'm tackling is about grief. Pretty frightening reading the books which describe how I'm feeling. It's all very raw and reading words which relate to my state of anxiety feels a bit like picking a scab but at the same time, it's comforting to know that I'm not on my own!!!

Annabelle is asleep on my knee. Sylvie is at the table having her dinner and Bea has fallen asleep on a big green play blanket that's kept behind the sofa. Mark's making my dinner and we're all a bit upside down since the camping trip however, I have high hopes for tomorrow and for next week.

I'm going to keep checking up on other people's blogs as they are so inspirational.